Friday, August 24, 2012

APOCALYPTIC TIDBITS FROM HERE AND THERE


ITEM: The above photo showing Mercury, Venus and Saturn aligning over the pyramids on the Giza Plateau went viral recently and, no doubt had people screaming “End of days! End of days! Bring out our dead!” or peeing themselves in utter terror or, maybe, ecstasy. Alas, the photo is as phony as is the idea of a rogue planet poised to collide with earth. It was computer generated by Charles Marcello using Starry Night Pro, an astronomy software program. Of course, people gobbled it up as a sign of…something, a kind of fill in the blank application. It can signify whatever or what not or just nonsense.

ITEM: The Planetary Peace Broadcast, a 24-hour “global event focusing on three aspects of peace” will be transmitted on…wait for it…yes, that’s correct! December 21, 2012! It will be on the Internet as well as television and radio stations throughout the world. Created by planpeace.org, the Planetary Peace Broadcast will focus on three crucial themes: “peace among nations, peace with the environment of our planet, and peace within each individual.” All righty then, very touchy-feely and a date that is supposed to be the End of the World…NOT!

ITEM: “We're in the End Times, the imminent coming of Jesus Christ is at the door. This Board is about updating an event happening around the world. - Matthew 24 : The Signs of the End Times and the End of the Age Prepare for the Rapture.” The forgoing is from “2012 End Times.” I assume in January, it’ll be updated to “2013 End Times.” Just sayin’!

ITEM: Conservative columnist (and baseball aficionado) George Will tackled Doomsday in a recent column. Discussing decades of doom and gloom, he pointed out that people suffered from “apocalypse fatigue — boredom from being repeatedly told the end is nigh.” While George Will and I might only agree on baseball, I do admit I agree with him about Apocalypse Fatigue. However, I disagree with his typical conservative world view that denies global warming – “we’re having some hot weather – get over it.” – even in the face of massive data. Oh, well, we still have baseball.

ITEM: Dr. Matthew Ashton, a lecturer at Nottingham Trent University in the UK, points out in a recent article that “Doomsday predictions have been around for all of human history…” and that “there will always be the gullible and the foolish willing to believe any old nonsense. What's worrying in the modern world is the way sections of the media, politicians and the internet seem obsessed with panicking us into distraction.” He finds that the chief culprit in soreading doomsday misinformation is, of course, the media. “It's simply the case that bad news sells. No-one ever bought a newspaper which had the headline: 'Hey, things are basically OK'. This isn't the papers' fault though - it's ours. Generally we're more interested in bad things happening to people than good and we buy our news stories accordingly. If we didn't want to buy bad news, media sources would sell less of it.”

Monday, August 6, 2012

IT’S ALWAYS DOOMSDAY SOMEWHERE


Here it is August already. We’re rapidly closing in on December 21, the end of the world…not!

A few days ago in Bolivia, President Evo Morales announced that beginning December 21, 2012, Coca-Cola will be banned “to celebrate the end of capitalism” and “the beginning of the culture of life.”

Confusion reigned. Banning Coca-Cola? Really? Media outlets around the world ran articles that Bolivia was going to boot the world’s largest soft drink manufacturer.
Rising to his country’s defense, David Choquehuanca, Bolivia’s foreign minister, explained that December 21, 2012 was the day the Mayan lunar calendar enters a new cycle and “has to be the end of Coca-Cola, the end of selfishness, of division. The planets will line up after 26,000 years. It is the end of capitalism and the beginning of communitarianism.”

Okay. So Coca-Cola fosters selfishness and division and if it goes away, it’s all going to be rainbows and unicorns, right?

Turns out, Bolivia is not the only country annoyed with Coca-Cola. You can’t get the “Real Thing” in Cuba or North Korea. What is it with commies and America’s famous soft drink? And speaking of nut cases, Hugo Chavez, the charming leader of Venezuela, has asked his countrymen to stop with the “pause that refreshes” and instead drink Uvita, the grape juice produced by a state-run company. No capitalism there, right? (And wouldn’t that grape juice be oh-so-much-better if is was fermented in a nice oak cask for a year or so?)

Another article appeared a few days after the ban was announced: “Bolivian officials played down a recent pledge to ban Coca-Cola, saying the words were taken out of context. Their aim was to encourage locals to switch to a homemade peach soft drink instead of the famous American soda.”

Thus, when Bolivian Foreign Minister Choquehuanca declared December 21 as the end of Coca-Cola, he actually meant it was the beginning of Mocochinci, the drink made from dried peaches, according to Foreign Ministry spokesperson Consuelo Ponce.

Okay, I admit, not end of the world stuff, per se, unless you are a Bolivian hooked on Coca-Cola instead of the local soft drink that is just peachy. (Sorry. Sorry. It was there, I had to do it. I know it was wrong.)