Well, folks, here it is, December 21, 2011! A year from now, a mere 366 days – remember 2012 is a Leap Year – the world is coming to an end…or an interesting new beginning…or our Reptilian Overlords are going to rise out of Denver International Airport and drive us before them while they gleefully listen to “the lamentations of our women.”
Wait, maybe it’s not Reptilian Overlords or even our Republican Overlords, maybe it’s Free Masons or Knights Templers or the Luminati or worse, Egyptian Luminati! …Oh my God! What if it’s Planet X - Nibiru - no longer just screwing around with Uranus and Neptune but with the whole darn solar system and taking aim at earth?
Run for your lives! For heaven’s sake, ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN!
As a target date for Doomsday, December 21, 2012 is a conspiracy buff’s masturbatory delight. It’s the whole enchilada all rolled up into one giant paranoid fantasy, one enormous delusion! It is purported that there are Bible codes delineating it and it was the last thing Nostradamus wrote about. Some predict that the earth’s poles are going to shift in 2012 and that on the magical date – December 21, 2012 – a galactic alignment in the heavens and it’s going to be “hello, oblivion!” And, of course there’s the biggie of all biggies: The Mayan Calendar ends on 12-21-2012!
OH NO, SAY IT AIN’T SO! Not the Mayan calendar! Holy crap! Those Mayans were clearly on to something. Yes, sir. They had their calendar and…and their bows and arrows and their bronze axes…and…and…well, whatever else, so surely they knew! You betcha! It’s the End of Days!
And if you don’t believe me, there are T-shirts and books and Websites where you can buy survival supplies and oh so much more!
Okay, okay I jest. I don’t take all this hoo-ha seriously. However, a lot of people do. There are scads of Websites and blogs and books and, I suppose, street preachers and prophets purporting to know that the world will end December 21, 2012. That means this Christmas is our last! What a rip-off! Why couldn’t it come on December 26, 2012? The day after Christmas is always depressing anyway. So the world ends, a lot of us would be too hung over or bloated on pie and candy and cake and turkey or ham or meat-like-veggie-substitutes to really care. But, no, we have to sacrifice Christmas 2012 to appease the fates that have marked us for extinction. That really blows!
Thus, for the next 366 days…until the world ends…I’m going to blog about the world ending and related nonsense. If it does end on 12-21-2012, won’t my face be red? Believers can thumb their noses at me and point and laugh and… Oh, no, wait. They won’t be able to do any of that because they’ll be gone and I’ll be gone. Ha! So for me it’s a win-win situation. If the world ends – KA-POW! – no one will be around to mock me and I won’t be around to be mocked and if it doesn’t end, I can mock the believers and point at them and laugh for years to come!
See you tomorrow…
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