CDC ADDRESSES ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE

Back again!

I’ve mentioned that the Center for Disease Control uses a “zombie apocalypse” as a fun method to teach emergency preparedness. Of course recently there have been a rash of cannibal “zombie attacks” around the country that the simple-minded, raging hysterics and out and out idiots have tried to interpret as a coming zombie apocalypse.

Thus, in light of all that, the CDC has produced “Prepared 101: Zombie Pandemic,” an online graphic novel demonstrates the importance of emergency preparedness.

“Readers follow Todd, Julie, and their dog Max as a strange new disease begins spreading, turning ordinary people into zombies. Stick around to the end for a surprising twist that will drive home the importance of being prepared for any emergency. Included in the novel is a Preparedness Checklist so that readers can get their family, workplace, or school ready before disaster strikes.”

The graphic novel is interesting and entertaining while offering valuable information. It can be accessed here: http://www.cdc.gov/phpr/zombies/#/page/1

BACKYARD APOCALYPSE

I’m back….!

Okay, okay, stop! Please, no booing and hissing!

Anyway, one reason, well, okay, the main reason I took a little time off was the obvious redundancy of what I had to say.

Of course, as the year progresses, things are heating up. A woman in Mexico did terrible things to her child as an offering or something to the coming End of the World…Not and there have been more suicides and Apocalypse-spawned insanity. A 37-year-old-man in Maryland confessed to killing and eating parts of a college student living with his family. Prompted by the media, the Center for Disease issued a statement that even in light of several bizarre cannibalistic attacks around the country there is no pending zombie apocalypse.

However, all of that was just routine end of the world stuff. And then I read about the gnomes.

Not just any gnomes, either. Zombie gnomes.

Don’t watch the skies, rather watch your begonias and iris, keep a sharp eye on your rose bushes and black-eyed Susan. The little sucker might be lurking under any tree, shrub or bush.

A couple of California (where else?) artists came up with the idea of “zombie garden gnomes.” Chris Stever and Jane DeRosa fashioned a series of zombified gnomes, ranging from Patient Zero with a half-melted face to Doomsday Dan, a latter-day gnome preacher who believes the zombie apocalypse is a plague from heaven.

One of the art pieces entitled Bye Bye Birdie (see above), depicts zombie gnomes devouring a pink flamingo lawn decoration.

The artists sell their creations for prices ranging from $21 for a solo gnome to $55 for Bye Bye Birdie.

Additionally, there’s a gnome survivor complete with shotgun.

And who says the Apocalypse can’t be fun?

FOLLOW-UP ON THE FOLLOW UP TO ZOMBIE ATTACK

(Note: It’s come to my attention that a daily blog is boring to bejesus out of my readers. Hence, after today, new posting will be far less frequent.)

I figured after yesterday’s follow-up to the Miami “zombie attack” that it would be the end of the story. However, I happened upon an article entitled “Zombie Apocalypse or Sign of the Devil? Attacker Preached Bible to Friends Says Girlfriend.” It was published in the Christian Post.

Now I try to be careful when it comes to religion. Many a story I’ve read that would make good fodder here, but I have by-passed them so as not to alienate any readers. However, this article really intrigued me.

“Those who knew the attacker…say that he was ‘battling the devil.’" As opposed to bath salts? As you’ll recall, Rudy Eugene, the crazed “zombie” that ate a homeless man’s face before police shot and killed him to stop the attack, was high on bath salts.

In this article, the writer states that “some conspiracy theorists who believe that an actual zombie attack may be imminent.

“Two other incidents in May resulted in arrests when an Illinois man bit the cheek of an 18 year-old girl. Only two days later a California man bit the tip off of his cousin's nose.”

Rudy Eugene’s girlfriend naturally hates the “zombie” moniker placed on her dead boyfriend’s memory. "He was a person. I don't want him to go down like that," she told the Miami Herald.

Apparently, Eugene was a godly person who carried the Word to anyone in need. However, he was “going through a lot with his family" and, while a “sweet” person, he had been a “heavy marijuana” user. “His girlfriend blames the attack on Eugene either being drugged or a supernatural occurrence.”

His best friend told the Herald that "Rudy was battling the devil."

So, apparently, the devil told him to eat a homeless man’s face?

I don’t know, it’s a stretch.

Eugene may have been “battling the devil” figuratively speaking, but I don’t think it was an actual knock-down-drag-out with the Prince of Darkness; not unless his infernal majesty brought the bath salts.

And, bye the bye, in late May, the U.S. Senate passed ban on some bath salts and sent the bill to the House of Representatives.

FOLLOW-UP TO MIAMI “ZOMBIE ATTACK”

A few days back I reported the incident in Miami when one man, subsequently gunned down by police, attacked another man who was homeless and savagely gnawed on his face. Scores of articles appeared in my Google Alerts about “Miami’s Zombie Apocalypse.”

So, okay, that’s a little over-the-top. But given our media these days, who can be surprised?

Anyway, it turns out, the “zombie” in question, one Rudy Eugene, was high on…wait for it…bath salts! That’s right bath salts. One article called it the “new over the bodega counter drug.”

The Miami police announced it so it’s more than simple scandal mongering. The cops told the media that the bath salts cause people “to go completely insane and become very violent.”

While illegal in several states, bath salts are “particularly insidious because there is no federal ban on them.”

“Despite the harmless name of the drug, the chemical makeup is complex and toxic. The DEA classifies bath salts in the same group as mescaline, a mind altering compound not dissimilar to LSD.”

However, unlike LSD, bath salts “typically create intense sensations of anger and agitation, increased heart rate and blood pressure (and) LSD-like delusions and hallucinations.”

An article in New York Magazine last year clarified the impact of bath salts. Selling for $25 to $50 per 250 to 500 milligram jars, the bath salts are sold :in “convenience stores, discount tobacco outlets, gas stations, pawnshops, tattoo parlors, truck stops,” according to the DEA. To get around regulations, the jars are marked “not for human consumption.”

The salts are “snorted; less regularly, injected, smoked, atomized, or swallowed.” Yummy, eh!

The initial rush is compared “to the surge of positive energy triggered by cocaine.” However, hallucinations follow during a “scarily lingering high” that can last for as much as 48 hours and, one user reported taking 10 days to feel normal again. After the initial dose, the urge to “re-dose” is reported to be incredibly powerful.

It’s reported that side effects are “mild,” unless of course, you start eating other people.

RARE PLANETARY ALIGNMENT BEGINS TODAY

Today, June 5, begins a rare solar system event. And, while I suppose some Doomsday True Believers (morons/idiots) are pedaling it as a sign of the End of Days, in reality it’s just a very cool occurrence.

NASA reports that Venus will pass across the sun today and tomorrow, June 5 and 6. “Although the entire eclipse will be visible from certain countries, in the US it will only be visible as it begins on June 5. The sun will set before the event ends.”

This occurrence happens only twice a century. I happened in 2004 and now in 2012. That’s it, apparently, for the 21^st century.

There will be no earthquakes, no gravitational realignments, no End of Days nonsense. Since looking directly at the sun to see the event is a dandy way to burn out your corneas, the entire spectacle will be carried live on a space camera at http://events.slooh.com.
So, no doom and gloom today, just a cool event that needed to be noted.

PROFITEERING IN THE GUISE OF BENEVOLENCE IS STILL EXPLOITATION

The following is from a widely-distributed press release.

“With economic chaos reigning across the globe, Iran and North Korea rattling their sabers, and the ever-present threat of domestic terrorism, Americans understand the importance of self-reliance and preparedness. There's even a new TV show on the National Geographic Channel called ‘Doomsday Preppers’ that highlights the extreme measures that some people take to protect themselves and their families from a disaster situation.”

Thus, the United States Gold Bureau is partnering with Wise Food Storage Company (an “official sponsor of “Doomsday Preppers” on the National Geographic Channel) “to offer a selection of emergency survival products that can help Americans survive through a crisis situation, if the worst-case scenario ever happens.”

Twice in the press release the reader is reminded that “the risk of a child born today suffering an early death due to nuclear war is at least 10%, according to a notable Stanford professor.”

Now, as any regular reader of this blog knows, I encourage people to prepare for disasters with a three day supply of food and water, an emergency kit with candles or other alternative lighting sources, blankets, a First Aid kit and so forth. However, I’m just cynical enough to look askance at the implied benevolence of such companies as the United States Gold Bureau and Wise Food Storage Company who are, after all, simply out to make a buck. If scare tactics work, so be it.

“To help Americans prepare for the worst, the U.S. Gold Bureau and Wise Food Storage Company have teamed up to offer a line of emergency survival products that include long-term foods, survival gear and gold and silver currency.”

Of course they have.

“Though we like to stay positive about the future outlook for our country, it's only smart to be prepared for whatever may come,” said Dave Williams, CEO of the United States Gold Bureau. “That’s why we’re working with Wise Foods to offer our clients the products they need to not only survive hard times, but to thrive while others may be suffering.”

Dubbed “American Eagle Endurance,” the new line of survival products includes “a mix of emergency gear and food stocks provided by Wise Food combined with a supply of silver and gold coins provided by the U.S. Gold Bureau.”

“For customers who truly want to prepare for what’s to come, we offer great-tasting food with a shelf life of up to a 25 years, along with survival kits that include gear like flashlights, sleeping bags, water filtration kits, rope and more,” said Jason Streiff of Wise Food. “But we recognize it’s impossible to stock everything you need for the long-term, so that’s when you need to be prepared to barter or buy additional supplies. And this is why we are partnering with the U.S. Gold Bureau.”

“Though we like to stay positive about the future outlook for our country….” Bla, bla, bla. In addition to the 10 percent chance of a nuclear war, the release adds that “NASA has started a website to track the likelihood of an asteroid hitting the earth.” Even though that likelihood of a major asteroid hitting earth is remote. And, of course, there is much discussion of worldwide economic collapse.

“’We may not like to think about the worst-case scenario,” said Williams, “but it’s even scarier to think about what could happen if you’re not prepared.’ Through the partnership between Wise Foods and the U.S. Gold Bureau, Americans who already own silver and gold can use their precious metals to purchase their emergency supplies in advance, rather than using cash or credit, before a disaster strikes.”

Bottom line here is the bottom line for the United States Gold Bureau and Wise Food Storage Company. Of course they don’t want to see a disaster, they just want people to believe there’s one in the offing and turn to American Eagle Endurance for comfort.

Profiting from other people’s paranoia and hysteria is neither illegal nor un-American. In fact, it’s very American. However, wrapping it all up in a vain attempt to look like a benevolent enterprise is, at the very best, amoral.

And please note, we are under 200 days until End of the World…Not!

WYOMING GUN SALES SPIKE…BLAME OBAMA

According to a couple of Wyoming gun dealers, a recent heavy demand for guns has spiked sales for two compelling reasons: “doomsday concerns” and gun owners who fear that President Obama will “try to limit sales of guns and ammunition if he is re-elected.”

Not to mention that “there’s a black man in our precious White House!”

This thinly veiled racism has dogged the president since he was elected. To his credit, he does not play the race card. I am not that much of a high road traveler. So much of the Prepper/survivalist mentality is tied to the fact that Obama is America’s first black president it’s sickening. Their entire internal identity is “White Superiority.” They can’t come out and say it on air, but the reality is all the concerns about “economic collapse,” another war abroad, another terrorist attack is really the Preppers’ way of saying, “Hey, there’s a black man in our precious White House!”

“The election and people who think the U.S. is going to collapse or something,” explained Sean Wagner, operator of Rocky Mountain Discount Sports in Casper accounting for the increased gun sales. “People come in and buy loads of freeze-dried food and all kinds of survival-type stuff.”

Among his bestsellers are the expected hunting rifles and handguns as well as short-barrel riot shotguns and assault rifles like the military uses.

Several blogs back I mentioned that arms manufacturer Ruger has suspended new orders since they have a backlog of a million orders that they need to fill. Additionally, Strum, another manufacturer, “suspended new orders after receiving orders for more than one million guns in the first three months of the year.” (By the way, the report about Ruger and Strum comes from Fox News, so it may or may not be true.)

The owner of Frontier Arms in Cheyenne told a reporter that the heavy demand for weapons “will go on for the rest of the year mainly because of the election.”

There are rumors of new gun laws. For example, after a spat of homicides and shooting in Seattle last week, some Washington legislators are talking about new legislation. Personally, I’m not convinced legislators can do much to curb gun violence. Maybe if they focused on creating jobs by attracting new business and industry with tax incentives and attractive real estate deals they would have better luck. People with jobs are less likely to shoot on another (except maybe at the post office).

Of course, no matter what happens, some people will blame Obama because, ““Hey, there’s a black guy in our precious White House! End of Days! End of Days!”

GRIM RESULTS OF DOOMSDAY NONSENSE

NESTON, WILTSHIRE, ENGLAND

A 16-year-old girl in England hanged herself recently after determining that the world would come to an end this year.

Isabel Taylor became a Buddist, but the change in religious views did not help quell her discontentment with the “complications and injustice” of the modern world.

“She yearned for an uncomplicated and perfect world where every living thing would be valued and at peace,” her parents explained. “But the simple and perfect world she sought, where all living things would be treated with compassion and equality, was never going to materialize. Unfortunately the future for her in her eyes must have seemed very bleak.”

People running around screaming “end of days! end of days!” should be ashamed of themselves for feeding the gullible and the weak their asinine bullshit.

KANSAS CITY

A Kansas man who was preparing for the end of the world by making and storing grenades was sentenced recently to 21 months in federal prison.

Alfred C. Dutton, 65, of Eureka, Kan., pleaded guilty to one count of unlawful possession of unregistered destructive devices.

Government exhibits included grenade bodies, powder and fuses. Prosecutors said five incendiary bombs were found in a storage locker leased to Dutton in Eureka in southeastern Kansas.

Dutton’s defense said he was preparing for the collapse of the economy and collecting medical supplies, non-perishable foods and other items. The defense submitted to the court an excerpt from a National Geographic documentary on “Doomsday Preppers” to illustrate his state of mind.

PALMDALE, CALIFORNIA

A woman in Palmdale was arrested recently for allegedly attempting to drown her 8-year-old son in the swimming pool at their apartment complex while yelling “You have to go. This is the end of the world.”

Fortunately, other complex residents jumped into the pool and saved the boy. Police carted away the mother “kicking and screaming,” according to The Los Angeles Times.

One of my biggest concerns is that as we near December 21, more and more of these terrible incidents will occur. More gullible, weak-minded people with their “common sense” switch set to “off,” will pop out of the woodwork and do bodily harm to themselves and to others. It’s the unfortunate by-product of a worldwide hysteria ratcheting out of control.

APOCALYPTIC ZOMBIES…SERIOUSLY!

As one Prepper mentioned recently, an apocalyptic zombie is whatever an individual prepper/survivalist wants it to be. An earthquake, a super volcano, a rogue planet, a wildfire, you know, the disaster-du-jour for which people are preparing to survive.

Well, according to the Guardian Express in London, police are now using the zombie moniker to describe behavior exhibited by “cannibalistic” criminals trying to “chew other people’s faces.”

As old Jack Parr would have said, “I kid you not.”

“Recently, at least ten such cannibalistic cases have been documented,” the Guardian reported. “Authorities have begun to list to these psychotic encounters under the heading ‘Apocalyptic Zombie.’”

“In the latest episode, Miami Police were summoned to the scene by a man who failed in his attempts to stop 31-year-old Rudy Eugene from savagely gnawing on the face of Ronald Poppo. When they arrived, police found a naked, blood-splattered Eugene growling and chewing on the face of 65-year-old Poppo. Even after the police confronted the crazed man and repeatedly ordered him to stop, Eugene continued to bite into Poppo’s face. Police were forced to unleash a hail of gunfire to stop and kill Rudy Eugene. Poppo is now in the hospital, fighting for his life.”

That’s pretty weird stuff. I decided to check with the Miami Herald. And there it was, right on the opening page of the Herald’s website.

Pretty gruesome stuff.

The Guardian, always ready, willing and able to peddle doom and gloom, tied the entire face-eating affair to the approach of 12/21/12, you know, Doomsday…not!

Another gruesome tale out of Hackensack, New Jersey, also is being attributed to the “Zombie Apocalypse” phenomenon. Too grisly to recount here, suffice to say that a man did bad things to himself and then threw his own body parts at cops. At last report, the “zombie” was in critical condition.

Naturally, Doomsday panderers and hysterics are attempting to link these isolated events to whatever scenario fits their twisted little minds. In truth, bizarre people do bizarre things that have nothing to do with Doomsday/Armageddon/End of Days/the Apocalypse. If you look hard enough, you can find terrible and horrific incidents occurring every day. However, it’s simply life on a planet on which seven billion people are trying to live, not the end of the world.