ISAAC NEWTON, DOOMSDAY PROGNOSTICATOR

Good old Isaac Newton – nothing to do with the fig cookie – is the father of modern physics; a renowned scientist and scholar. His scientific writings have been published everywhere. However, his theological writings are far less known.

Now, Israel’s National Library’s website has, thanks to the Newton Project, uploaded a digital copy of Newton’s Bible.

What’s interesting here is that Isaac predicted the end of the world. That’s right, the founder of classical mechanics, the father of modern physics was also a latter day doomster. And his prediction for the date of Doomsday? December 25, 2060.

Apparently, Isaac arrived at that specific date by calculating the coronation of Charlemagne, which took place on Christmas night in 800, and going forward 1,260 years as prescribed by the Book of Daniel.

Okay, well, no one should hold their breath. In fact, not many of us breathing now will be breathing then. At least not in our current incarnations. So, if 12-25-60 is the end date (not!) we aren’t going to care. But I don’t think our grandchildren or great grandchildren should worry.

SKYSCRAPERS TO THWART ARMAGEDDON

A pair of Ukrainians – Victor Kopieikin and Pavlo Zabotin – watched the 2011 tsunami ravage Japan and determined that with all of the weather-related changes coming to planet Earth, they needed to design “a complex system of ocean-based skyscrapers that would house the country's population while also protecting the island from almost any type of natural disaster.”

Thus, they created the "Citadel Skyscraper," awarded an honorable mention in the eVolo competition. The skyscrapers consist of three key elements: 1) They are designed to withstand waves 50 meters high, 2) they would be erected to create a barrier a mile or so off-shore and 3) have enough features and charm to attract tens-of-thousands of people to “relocate into these self-contained Citadels.”

“The prototypical skyscraper for this project has a metal frame; its foundation is poured at a depth of 1,200 meters and it reaches 500 meters into the sky. By burying the structure so far into the earth, it is protected from seismic activity (earthquakes up to a magnitude 11), waves (up to 40 feet tall) and man-made disasters (such as the explosion of atomic weapons).

“A system of bars forming a single, one-piece shield around the building serves as its protection system. They are energetically self-sustaining, using wave power for energy generation, and they have live fish tanks to provide food for residents.”

On the plus side, Kopieikin and Zabotin aren’t proposing the skyscraper concept to thwart avenging angels, attacking aliens, rogue planets, solar flares or other mythological nonsense.

On the negative side, while it all sounds just peachy, I can’t help but wonder if tens-of-thousands of people will be willing to trust their very survival to a skyscraper jutting out of the ocean floor?  Let’s face it, if one topples, it could create a domino effect and, oops!, there goes the neighborhood.

APOCALYPSE NOT NOW AND NOT SOON

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, when the end of the world doesn’t happen on December 21, 2012, I will laugh and point at the True Believers (idiots/morons) who profess this asinine notion.

Honestly, I can’t imagine running around all day, day after day, actually believing that the world is going to end in my lifetime or my granddaughter’s lifetime or any time in the foreseeable and not foreseeable future.

A new survey found that fully 15 percent of the world’s population believes the world will end in their lifetime and 10 percent actually believe the Mayan calendar designates 2012 as the ending date.

Stupid, stupid, stupid!

Is that unkind? Should I be more understanding and compassionate? Hell, I’m a liberal, I’m not a racist or a bigot, I’m not a bully or a sexist but….but…but I know from my life experience that you can’t fix stupid! You can educate the ignorant, you can teach the hungry to fish, you can provide shelter and protection to the poor, the infirm and the needy, but you can’t fix stupid!

“Whether they think (the world) will come to an end through the hands of God, or a natural disaster or a political event, whatever the reason, one in seven thinks the end of the world is coming,” explained Keren Gottfried, research manager at Ipsos Global Public Affairs that conducted the survey for Reuters.

"Perhaps it is because of the media attention coming from one interpretation of the Mayan prophecy that states the world 'ends' in our calendar year 2012," Gottfried added.

I would certainly not challenge the veracity of the international poll. Researchers questioned 16,262 people in 20 countries. A viable statistical sample is usually about 1500. According to Reuters responses “varied widely with only six percent of French residents believing in an impending Armageddon in their lifetime, compared to 22 percent in Turkey and the United States and slightly less in South Africa  and Argentina.

“But only seven percent in Belgium and eight percent in Great Britain feared an end to the world during their lives…the greatest numbers were in Russia and Poland, the fewest in Great Britain.”

People under 35 with less education and a lower household income were more likely to “believe in an apocalypse during their lifetime or in 2012, or have anxiety over the prospect.”

Well, whatever, I will still laugh and point and dance a little see-the-world-didn’t-end-you-morons jig when 2013 rolls around. And if I happen to drop dead before then, watch for a laughing specter doing an I-told-you-so boogie.

DOOMSDAY PROPHET TO REVEAL DATE OF APOCALYPSE MAY 27TH

You read it here first!

Biblical Doomster Mark Farrell is presenting a series of free lectures – donations are appreciated – in San Francisco this month that will culminate with a final lecture on May 27th in which he promises to reveal the date of the Apocalypse.

That, my friends, is a promise that would make attending the lecture almost worthwhile. I say “almost” because, of course, for me to attend it, I would have to fly from the Mile High City to the City by the Bay. I’m just not that invested in Doomsday. Go figure.

Farrell alerted the San Francisco media with fliers and press releases, promising a free lecture every weekend in May exploring Bible prophesy in a “fully-illustrated series of dynamic lectures” and an “easy-to-understand format.” Probably a Powerpoint.

Farrell, termed an “epic pessimist” by one San Francisco columnist, promises to reveal the truth regarding “the timeline of final events, the location of hell, and ‘what heaven is like’ before finally revealing the actual date of the end of the world at the final lecture on May 27th.”

Not only that, there will be snacks! That’s right, a free lecture and light vegetarian snacks.

Vegetarian snacks? Another reason not to fly there for the big reveal lecture. If it was a prime rib buffet with shrimp cocktails and martinis, well…it would be something to consider.

The snarky columnist did wonder if the vegetarian cuisine would be accompanied by “Kool-Aid refreshments.”

Anyway, that’s the big news from the Bay Area.

May 27th. Something to look forward to.

MORE SNIPPETS FROM EVERYWHERE

Anonymous Letter Writer
The Olympian

“We are definitely in the End Times! The time for God/Jesus to return is soon. How soon I do not know, but tomorrow would not be too soon for me.”

Harold Camping
U.S. preacher who predicted the End of the World twice in 2011

Writing in a letter posted on his ministry’s Website:

“We realize that many people are hoping they will know the date of Christ's return. We humbly acknowledge we were wrong about the timing. We have no new evidence pointing to another date for the end of the world.”

Jack Kornfield
Buddhist Teacher and Author
Elevated Existence

Discussing 2012 predictions for the End of the World

“If everyone panicked all would be lost. But if even one person on the boat remained calm and centered, it was enough to show the way for everyone to survive. So someone on the lifeboat of the world has to be that beacon of steadiness and compassion, and be mindful and free of heart. As you do that, it changes all you touch.”

Gary Demar
Biblical Scholar
Describing a televised debate with a End Times advocate

“He knew who I was, but it was obvious with our conversations between takes that he didn’t have a handle on what I actually believed. I asked him if he was interested in producing a documentary on competing views of Bible prophecy. He was polite in telling me that when he read the Bible, he read prophecy in a literal way. Here was my response: ‘I bet you that I interpret the Bible more literally than you do.’ Silence. I then asked him the following questions:

1. Can you give me one verse that explicitly teaches a pretribulational rapture?
2. Can you point out one verse from the New Testament that teaches that the temple will be rebuilt?
3. Where in Revelation is the seven-year tribulation found?

“He could not identify a single verse in support of any of these end-time beliefs that are very popular with Christians today.”

END OF DAYS! END OF DAYS….OH, NO, WAIT…IT’S ALL GOOD

Recently, the good citizens of Moscow saw several green-tinged clouds sweeping over the city and freaked out!

Armageddon! The Apocalypse!

Ah…no….

“Today Muscovites felt like characters in a disaster film about an alien invasion: people living in the south-west of the city saw that the sky had been colored green,” Russia's weather service reported.

Eerily, the green clouds slipped up on the Russian capital like some virulent alien gas or the angel of death come to dispose of the population. By afternoon, the clouds were over the city proper and office workers and others stared in wonder at the colored sky.

It didn’t help matters that the Komsomolskaya Pravda tabloid appeared with a headline: "Green clouds are coming toward Moscow. Could it be that the apocalypse is upon us?"

A light coating of green dust began covering streets and cars.

Emergency numbers were called as residents panicked. Was the ominous green cloud the result of an industrial accident? Was it part of some diabolical plot straight out of a James Bond thriller? Was it fallout from some distant, deadly explosion?

No. No. And no.

"This dust is pollen from alder and birch trees which began flowering recently after a slow spring," authorities explained. "The pollen poses danger to people suffering from allergies and asthma, for others it's only seasonal discomfort.”

SURVIVALIST BECOMES A CAUTIONARY TALE

Peter Keller was preparing for the end of the world and had a large gun collection and “often took extra supplies to stockpile at a fort in the woods,” according to his daughter’s boyfriend.

Authorities in Monroe, Washington, believe that on April 22, Keller murdered his 18-year-old daughter and his 41-year-old wife, along with the family’s cat and dog and then set their house on fire.

Initially, Keller was a “person of interest” in the murders; however, he was soon the prime suspect and an arrest warrant for first degree murder was issued.

For whatever reasons, Keller shot his daughter Kaylene and his wife Lynnette in the head with a .22 caliber weapon, then placed a plastic can of gas in a skillet on the stove, turned on a burner and fled.

Last Saturday, SWAT team accompanied by Seattle police officers, located Keller’s “fort,” which was, in fact, an elaborate underground bunker that he had spent eight years secretly constructing in the woods.

“Sheriff’s detectives found clues to the whereabouts of the bunker after processing the crime scene at the house where the women were murdered. Detectives also received tips from citizens who had seen Keller’s truck at the Rattlesnake Ridge Trailhead over the past year,” said Sgt. Cindi West, a King County sheriff’s office spokesperson.

Official documents said that Lynnette Keller’s family “described Peter Keller as reclusive and a man who had a fascination with trains and guns as well as a ‘survivalist mentality’ with distaste for authority.”

After locating Keller’s bunker, the SWAT team blew open the door and entered, finding Keller dead of a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.

The Sky Valley Chronicle reported: “Inside the bunker detectives say they found 13 guns and a number of shelves filled with boxes of ammunition as well as a stove, a water jug, sealed plastic containers, PVC pipe, a small trailer, a few cans of gasoline, some buckets and a ventilation system.”

While this is a grim and sad story, as 2012 evolves, I worry that it is simple one of many such stories that will appears in the coming months. The stress of Armageddon/End of Days/Doomsday/the Apocalypse may become so great for some with the “survivalist mentality” that ironically they will snap. Frankly, and I don’t mean to sound callus or crude, if they kill themselves, c'est la vie – that’s life and there are those people who self-select to thin the herd – however, when they kill the innocent on their way out, damn them to hell.