MORE END OF THE WORLD OBSERVATIONS FROM EVERYWHERE

Ana Veciana-Suarez
Miami Herald

“Of course, plenty of scientists have issued reassurances to the contrary, including this succinct one from physicist Ian O’Neill: ‘There’s no evidence to suggest the Mayans believed the end of their Long Count calendar would spell doomsday.’ But such statements have done little to quell the quacks.”

Professor Geraldo Aldana, University of California, Santa Barbara
Quoted in The Cleveland Plain Dealer

"To get to 2012, people correlated the Maya calendar to the Gregorian calendar that we use today. The problem is the data supporting the correlation is incorrect."

Robert Blinn,

Core77 Magazine

“Every couple of years a crackpot comes along and prophesizes the end of the world. Fortunately for us, the outcome of the Mayan calendar looks a lot more favorable than reviews for Roland Emmerich's film, 2012. So far, no end of the world cult has gotten it right and as a populace, we remain unsurprised.”

Professor Jo Ellen Burkholder, University of Wisconsin, Whitewater
cited in Royal Purple

“There is a tendency to eroticize the Maya and make them into these mysterious, long-disappeared people who only left they’re magical writing. They’re not long dead, missing, mysterious people. Their oral traditions persisted. They don’t think the world is going to end.”

And finally this from a student at North Harford High School, Pylesville, MD

Published in Cry of the Hawk

“December 21, 2012 is the last day of a Great Mayan Cycle, a cycle that has lasted 5,125 years. What happens at the end of that cycle?

“Well no one is really sure, but I am thinking death.

“According to abcnews.go.com, thirteen was a sacred number for the Mayans, and the thirteenth Baktun ends on December 21, 2012.

“You know what this means? Of course not, but I am leaning towards death.”

“The trusty site wikipedia.org lists the ‘Mayan calendar 2012’ under the article ‘Apocalypticism.’

“You know why? Because an apocalypse is sure to occur, and we are all going to die.
   

“The Mayans were really advanced for their times. Their calendar is more accurate than the one that we use today. So if their calendar predicts the ‘end of an era,’ then I am going to believe it.
   

“And the end of an era surely means death.”

*Sigh*

And, thus is the state of contemporary American education. Wikipedia is considered a “reliable” source.

*Sigh*

CRUISING TO THE END OF THE WORLD

ParaNikki – hopefully just a nickname – wrote on the Paranormal Utopia website that we all should join her and her colleagues on a “spectacular cruise and seminar-at-sea to the sacred Mayan sites of the Yucatan.”

That’s the wind-up, here’s the pitch:

“Cruise the Mayan Yucatan on the 2012 Solstice. Enter the Fifth World with sacred ritual by Mayan Elders at Cozumel and Chichen Itza. Connect with the Galactic Center. Enjoy an awesome Educational Seminar at Sea with leading Mayan Scholars.”

Billed as the “Mayan Galactic Cruise,” it’s scheduled on Carnival-Triumph December 17 to 22, 2012. Right in the midst of the end of the world! You could be right there when, KA-BOOM! – it all ends….NOT!

Actually, the cruise will feature “a grand ceremony and ritual that closes a 5000-year era of darkness, and opens a new eon of light – the ascension of humanity. On this day, the Great Cycle, which began in 3114 BC, will end. The Fourth World will pass, and the ‘World of the Fifth Sun’ will be born.”

Hey, I’m all for that and wouldn’t it be great to be basking in the Yucatan sun in December, sipping a Mai-Tai, Mojito or Piña Colada? It would be even better to be a trim 25 again basking in the Yucatan sun and sipping a fruity tropical drink not a fat 63 worried about proper exercise, diet and insomnia.

Hey, I’m just sayin’…!

Anyway, fantasies aside, according to the information, if you go on the cruise, which has prices starting at $999 (that’s 666 upside down) you will “add your momentum to the vibrational energy that culminates in the peak spiritual event of the Millennium – the Solstice of 2012, which will occur at the incredibly auspicious hour of 11:11 a.m. Universal Time on December 21, 2012.”

The pitch concludes: “At that time, on that date, everything we know will change. We will enter a new world – a world of Ascension.”

Or….or, not to be a cynic, in which we return to reality to face credit card bills for a cruise we probably couldn’t afford and will enter 2013 on a restrictive diet that will bar rich foods and fruity tropical drinks of any kind.

THE MAYA DEMAND A SHARE OF THE SPOILS

With the governments in southern Mexico marketing and advertising the End of the World on December 21, 2012 to tourists around the world, the Maya, the indigenous people of the region, want their fair share of the celebration and its resulting rewards.

Groups and organizations that represent the Maya point out that they have been excluded from the planning, design and promotion of the End of the World festivities. However, in light of the fact that festivities are exploiting their culture and heritage, they are demanding more in-put and opportunities for participation.

“Once again, the government has acted without consulting us. The only ones who will benefit are corporations,” said Aretmio Kaamal, general coordinator of the Permanent Forum on Indigenous Policy Kuxa’ano’on (Mayan for ‘we live’).

Kuxa’ano’on supports the rights of the Maya in the states of Campeche, Chiapas, Quintana Roo, Tabasco and Yucatán.

In addition to wanting more involvement, the Maya are concerned about the environmental damage the expected flood of 52 million tourists will do to the many Maya sites.

“The focus is purely commercial, with no consideration for our culture, our roots, or our traditions,” said Kaamal.

Mexico’s Tourism Department is pumping $8 million into marketing the “Mayan World” in conjunction with the December 21, 2012 “prophesy,” which, again, is misinterpreted. Additionally, the government is investing about $49 million into the Mayan World Program. Come the end of the years – as opposed to the End of Days – Mexico expects to gross a whopping $14 billion in tourist dollars.

“According to Mayan historians,” a news agency reported, “the 13 Baktun began on Aug. 11, 3114 BC, and when it ends this December it will simply mean that another 144,000-day ‘long count’ will start.”

Here again is an example of government running roughshod over people with not much power and trampling their heritage and legacy in the name of the almighty peso.

THE SOLAR STORMS ARE HERE!

Rise Earth, a website that more often than not tries to whip up some phony-baloney hysteria about something strange or unknown or weird, issued an email feed on January 24 proclaiming:

“NASA Earth Observatory has confirmed with imagery courtesy of Solar Dynamics Observatory, that the largest solar storm since 2005 has just been unleashed from the sun. Reports are circulating the news wires and the internet on the possible repercussions of such an event. We highly recommend that you make sure your emergency preparations plans are in order. Scientists really have no idea what will happen to the Earth, but our job as parents, and concerned loved ones is to have our preparation plans in order.”

Let’s all panic because you remember back in 2005 when we all burned to death, right? No, wait, that didn’t happen, did it?

Rise Earth loves to make mountains out of mole hills.

In reality, as I posted here in December, NASA scientists have frequently pointed out that the sun, 93 millions miles away from earth, does not have enough energy to send a solar flare rocketing through the vacuum of space and incinerating us.

NASA Earth Observatory issued this statement: “Following one of the longest and weakest periods of activity in many cycles, the Sun is brimming with activity again. In late January 2012, our nearest star offered a preview of what may be to come in the solar maximum of 2012–13. The storm has the potential to disrupt some communications and satellite systems and to bring auroras to high-latitude skies.”

And as for a flare traveling from the sun to us:

“The flare itself was nothing spectacular, but it sent off a very fast coronal mass ejection traveling four million miles per hour (6.4 million kilometers per hour).”

I’m not sure what “preparation plans” we need to handle the current solar storm. Satellite transmission may get messed up and, if you’re like me and have satellite TV, it could be really annoying and I suppose the Pentagon and cell phone companies are concerned about disruptions, but, really, we’ve been here before and we’ll be here again. The sun has been blazing away for a long time and will continue to blaze away long after we’re gone.

END-OF-DAYS HI-JINX

Yesterday, I discussed “preppers” and the stockpiling of supplies in the face of the end of the world.

Cathy Gutierrez, an expert on end of the world beliefs at Virginia’s Sweet Briar College, says that during times of economic concern and recession or worries over the national debt, it is not unusual for some people to feel a sense of "suffering and being afraid."

Gutierrez holds a doctorate from Syracuse University and has studied end time philosophies and beliefs extensively.

She recently told Reuters:

"With our current dependence on things from the electric grid to the Internet, things that people have absolutely no control over, there is a feeling that a collapse scenario can easily emerge, with a belief that the end is coming, and it is all out of the individual's control."

Historically, according to Gutierrez, our contemporary preppers are an echo of the Millerites that followed William Miller who, during the Industrial Revolution of the 1830s and 40s,  believed that Jesus Christ was coming back between March 21, 1843, and March 21, 1844 and would engulf the world in fire. Miller used newsletters, charts and posters to convey his message and ultimately reach about 100,000 people who sold all they owned and gathered in the mountains to await the Second Coming.

When there was no Second Coming – Surprise! Surprise! – Miller changed the date (this seems to be a recurring tactic of the failed prophets of doom) to October 22.

Well, we all know how that turned out.

Rather than incurring the justified wrath of the Millerites, William went on to create the Seventh-day Adventist movement.

Of course, Gutierrez also points out that contemporary preppers don’t have a specific date for the end, unlike the Millerites or Harold Camping’s followers or the True Believers (idiots/morons) who follow the Mayan calendar theory that is, of course utter bunk and nonsense.

Well, all I can say is: Que Sera, Sera!

ANOTHER VISIT TO THE PREPPERS

In a Reuters article entitle “Subculture of Americans prepares for civilization’s collapse,” writer Jim Forsyth interviewed “preppers” stockpiling goods for the end of the world.
 

I’m the first to say that having an emergency kit on hand and preparing, as urged by the Center for Disease Control, to be ready to survive for a few days without power, water and access to a grocery store is smart. Many people in Florida, the Outer Banks and along the Gulf Coast have emergency plans and supplies in the event of a hurricane. Similarly, people living in “Tornado Alley” have root cellars and basements equipped with survival supplies in which to stay if tornado sweeps through.

On a less dramatic scale, people living high in the Rockies or in remote areas of Alaska and Canada prepare for extended periods in which they might be snowed-in.

However, such prudent preparations can be carried to an extreme. For example, Forsyth interviewed a woman in the Appalachian Mountains who has turned her home into a “survival center.” She has a good-sized generator, water tanks, portable heaters and “a two-year supply of freeze-dried food that her sister recently gave her as a birthday present.”

Now that’s preparing for more than the sudden disaster, the fire, the flood, the tornado, and so forth. That’s preparing for “the end of the world as we know it.”

The woman in question believes, or perhaps hopes, that the economy is about to collapse and all hell is going to break loose.

Of course, as I mention frequently, there are people profiting from all this doom and gloom, anxiety and hysteria. They sell all manner of survival gear and supplies. Again, having an emergency kit on hand doesn’t hurt anything and is prudent. Having a two-year supply of freeze-dried food on hand may suggest someone has listened to the insane and inane ranting of Glenn “Don’t-Cry-for-Me-America” Beck who frequently tells his radio talk show listeners that it is “never too late to prepare for the end of the world as we know it.”

Another prophet of doom is James Wesley Rawles who has a blog about surviving that is “the guiding light of the prepper movement.” Not to be crass, but Rawles writes non-fiction and fiction dealing with the end of the world. Could his blog be a handy-dandy marketing tool?

He told Reuters that: "We could see a cascade of higher interest rates, margin calls, stock market collapses, bank runs, currency revaluations, mass street protests, and riots. The worst-case end result would be a Third World War, mass inflation, currency collapses, and long term power grid failures."

“Dogs and cats living together! Totally anarchy!”

UHOs, HARBINGERS OF DOOMSDAY?

I recently read a piece by Kate James, a member of Gather.com, “the place where millions of people come for fresh perspective on what's happening now,” that suggested that, perhaps, the strange sounds people from around the world report hearing are precursors to Doomsday!

Egad! We’ve had to contend with rogue planets, solar flares, super-volcanoes, polar shifts, Mayan calendars and a zombie apocalypse and now, sounds!

And “strange” sounds at that.

Maybe they’re like the strange sound you hear in the middle of the night before realizing you should not have had that second helping baklava or Brussels sprouts or bean curd or whatever sets your stomach to grumbling and rumbling. Maybe it’s the sound of your unneutered cat making amorous advances on the neighbors’ unsprayed feline or the annoying pitter-patter of little feet running through the attic reminding you that those pesky squirrels are still finding a way in.

Oh, yes, we’ve all heard strange sounds.

However, Ms. James says that some people believe that the sounds they are hearing are “the gates of hell opening in preparation for the 2012 end of the world as predicted by the Mayan calendar.”

Really?

No, she admits. “Mayan scholars do not actually believe that the world would end in 2012, so it seems unlikely that the weird noises are related to that.”

And, by the way, these strange sounds have been labeled Unidentified Howling Objects (UHOs) by a gentleman named Tom Rose.

According to TruTV’s website, the paranormal community (and when they say that I assume they are not talking about demons, werewolves, vampires, ghouls, zombies, etc., but those who embrace such things) is being haunted by “mystery sounds.” What about the rest of us? Aren’t we worthy of hauntness?

In an effort to be fair, I clicked on links to video from loggers in Alberta and listened to the sound that they heard and it was pretty eerie and strange. Reports have been received from Romania, Malaysia, Chicago, Glasgow and right near me, just across the Platte River Valley in Arvada.

Admittedly, there’s a phenomenon occurring and whether it’s the gates of hell creaking open, UFOs sputtering or Odin’s stomach rumbling, weird sounds do not a Doomsday make. 

DISNEY BETS AGAINST DOOMSDAY

Thumbing its nose at Doomsday panderers, the Walt Disney Company has slated to start shooting the latest rendition of “The Lone Ranger,” starring Johnny Depp as (God help us!) Tonto.

Now, as I understand it, Depp’s Tonto will actually be the lead and the Lone Ranger will be the second banana.

In an interview, Depp had this to say:

"I remember watching (“The Lone Ranger”) as a kid, with Jay Silverheels and Clayton Moore, and going: 'Why is the f--ing Lone Ranger telling Tonto what to do?’ I liked Tonto, even at that tender age, and knew Tonto was getting the unpleasant end of the stick here. That's stuck with me. And when the idea came up (for the movie), I started thinking about Tonto and what could be done in my own small way try to -- 'eliminate' isn't possible -- but reinvent the relationship, to attempt to take some of the ugliness thrown on the Native Americans, not only in The Lone Ranger, but the way Indians were treated throughout history of cinema, and turn it on its head."

Starting next month, the $215 million epic (that’s right, $215 million to make a cowboy flick), produced by Jerry Bruckheimer and directed by Gore Verbinski, will start shooting in New Mexico around Santa Fe, Albuquerque, Shiprock and other areas. The New Mexico location set the state’s film commission buzzing. Already home to studios dubbed Tamalewood, where the forthcoming “Avengers” movie was shot last year, much of the $215 million will be infused into the state’s economy.

However, in all fairness, you have to be asking: “What the hell does The freaking Long Ranger have to do with Doomsday?

Well, let me explain. Originally, “The Lone Ranger” was scheduled to open on…wait for it…December 21, 2012! Doomsday! Armageddon! End of Days!

However, the opening date was pushed further ahead to May 31, 2013. Now, I ask you, would a successful, predatory, really, really scary TV/film/amusement park empire like the Walt Disney Corporation spend $215 million for a movie slated to open more than five months after Doomsday if there was going to be a Doomsday? I think not!

The Mouse House is betting on no Armageddon and laying its bucks on a bit of revisionist pandering that will eviscerate the beloved Lone Ranger!

In the end, it’ll be Doomsday 0, The Lone Ranger 0

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR OF THE DRAGON

It’s Chinese New Year today (January 23) and, of course, the True Believers (morons/idiots) who see 2012 as the End of Days, have a conspiracy theory concerning it.

On the plus side, the beginning of the Chinese New Year triggers a 15-day celebration as we enter the Year of the Dragon.

Within the framework of Chinese mythology, there are twelve specific animals that represent years. These include Dragon, Horse, Monkey, Rat, Boar, Rabbit, Dog, Rooster, Ox, Tiger, Snake, and Ram. Last year was the Year of the Rabbit. A Chinese New Year website explains:

“While the Year of the Rabbit was characterized by calm and tranquility, the Year of the Dragon will be marked by excitement, unpredictability, exhilaration and intensity. The Rabbit imbues people with a sense of cautious optimism, but people respond to the spirit of the Dragon with energy, vitality and unbridled enthusiasm, often throwing all caution to the wind – which can be an unwise move: The Dragon is all about drama but if you take unnecessary risks, you may find yourself starring in your own personal tragedy.”

Note that among the 12 creatures representing Chinese years, all are real animals save for the dragon. Of course that adds some mystery and drama and tension to the whole end of the world thing. I mean, is the rabbit, the rooster or the monkey a worthy End of Days critter? Certainly not. But the Dragon! Heaven help us!

Another website proclaimed that 2012 is not just the Year of the Dragon, but the year of the Black Water Dragon, a time of “uncertainty and unexpected developments.”

Or so say the fortune cookies.

Thus if you mix the pending appearance of the Black Water Dragon with the Maya calendar countdown and the general hysteria about solar flares, rogue planets, polar shifts…holy crap! We’re all in for a hell of a time.

Or not.

As one Chinese astrology site explained: "You can have either bad luck or good luck in 2012, and will have a chance to turn it into better or worse luck."

That’s what I call covering the spread.

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!

MORE APOLCALYPTIC OBSERVATIONS FROM EVERYWHERE

Jackie Rooney, Florida Times-Union, Jacksonville

“Another math-challenged prophet Nancy Lieder, who claims to be in contact with aliens from Zeta Reticuli, said the planet Nibiru would collide with Earth in May 2003, but coincidentally re-calculated the date to Dec. 21, 2012.”

God Discussion (This marked only the end of the world in Colorado.)

“Friday the 13th seemed like a good time to get in on Tebow-mania to some Salem witches who sought to "neutralize" Tim Tebow and help Tom Brady and the Patriots for Saturday's game. It appears to have worked as the Patriots dominated the Broncos 45-10 in the AFC playoffs.”

Additionally, CBS Boston reported that, according to Salem Witch Lorelei, “Tebow is praying to the Gods, and we, the Witches of Salem will pray for the entire New England Patriots team and raise the energy in their honor to maximize an outstanding performance.”

Yeah, okay, fine! Whatever.

TotalBankruptcy.com 

Possible 2012 End of World Scenarios Include:

Mayan End of the World

• The Mayan calendar ends on December 21, 2012, which some feel indicates the world will end that day.

Polar Shift

• The Earth flips its poles every so often and some feel that we’re due for a switch.
• The pole reversal could cause volcanoes, tsunamis and other disasters.
• Our poles reverse polarity about every 250,000 years. Last flip = 780,000 years ago.

Nuclear War

• This is often the number one theory in the U.S. as to how the world will end.
• There are over 20,000 nuclear warheads in the world.

Biological Disaster

• Plagues have a historical reputation of wiping out civilizations and bioweapons do exist.
• It’s possible for any viral or bacterial infection to spread across the entire world within a couple of days.

Ice Age

• The world has had several ice ages before.
• Despite technology, if an ice age approached too quickly, many areas would be destroyed.

Alien War

• Are aliens planning an Earth takeover?
• 20% of people believe aliens already live amongst us

Zombie Virus Outbreak

• Is it just the stuff of science fiction or could a cannibalistic virus take us all down?

NEWSFLASH! JESUS IS EXPECTED TO ARRIVE MAY 27

I’m kicking-off my second month of blogging with this bit of scary stuff.

Well, say it ain’t so, Joe! According to Ronald Weinland, the former preacher of the Worldwide Church of God, the Maya prediction is wrong by seven months! That’s right. The world is NOT ending on December 21, 2012, but on May 27, 2012.

A prophet of God in his own mind (well, he says God declared him a prophet in 1997), Weinland asserts that those who mock God will die slowly from cancer. Holy crap, now that’s what I call enlightenment! Doesn’t every Christian believe that? Didn’t Jesus strike down his enemies with cancer? Isn’t there a quote in one of the Gospels, “Do unto to others with cancer?”

Anyway, as I said above, he’s a prophet in his own mind, declaring that with the Worldwide Church of God’s founder Herbert W. Armstrong dead, Weinland is now “the pastor of God's Church on earth, has also been appointed by the God of Abraham to be His end-time prophet and one of the two end-time witnesses (and spokesman of both), preceding the return of Jesus Christ on May 27, 2012.”

Heavy stuff, man. Somebody fire up the bong.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Trying to speak for deities is dicey business. Jesus may not be peering over Weinland’s shoulder, reading the schedule. And let’s face it, Weinland is setting himself up as did our pal Camping. If Jesus appears on May 27, I will bow down and admit my mea cupa; if, however, he doesn’t return, I’ll give Pastor Weinland a laurel and a hearty raspberry!

OK, here’s a little background on the Worldwide Church of God. Under Armstrong’s leadership, the church rejected the Christian doctrine of the Holy Trinity and instead adhered to Old Testament holy days and extremely ridged rules regarding tithing. How rigid? Rigid enough to leave people impoverished. Oh, yes, and by the by, Armstrong predicted that Jesus would return in 1975. OOPS!

Well, to heap rejection on renunciation, after Armstrong kicked the apocalyptic bucket in 1986, church members began tossing out much of Armstrong’s theology and by 2009, the Worldwide Church of God became the Grace Communion International. Weinland was appropriately p.o.ed and determined it was all heresy and formed splinter churches with Worldwide Church of God True Believers.

Thus, on January 8, the world entered a “half-a-time.” (And I didn’t even hear the whistle.)

According to Weinland:

“January 7, 2012, is another important occurrence for the timing of God’s work and end-time events. This date is an important crossroad in time as it ends a prophetically historic portion of time in Daniel that consists of a prophetic measure of ‘time’ and ‘times’ that began after Trumpets of 2009. January 8 of this year begins the final “half-a-time” of this full prophetic period known as ‘time, times, and half-a-time.’ That day is the start of the final period of 140 days (half-a-time) that leads up to the very coming of the Messiah spoken of in those same prophecies of Daniel.”

Got that? Clear as mud?

Yip.

DOOMSDAY? THERE’S AN APP FOR THAT!

As a money-maker, Doomsday, December 21, 2012, may prove to be the biggest in the history of doomsdays. All sorts of opportunities to be parted with your dollars are presenting themselves on a daily basis.

One of my favorites – and this from a guy who loathes cell phones – is a new app from Garret, which I am told is the Mobile App Developer (MAD). The new app is for the Android phone, the one in those slick TV commercials that look like an ad for a new sci-fi flick. According to a press release, the new app is a “graphics-oriented ‘Doomsday 2012’ mobile application.”

Zowie! Now you can countdown the End of Days on your cell phone when you’re not yakking it. Sounds like good, clean fun to me!

The press release also proclaims the new app as “the only 2012 timer on the market that calculates the Years, Months, Weeks, Days, Hours, Minutes and Seconds until Doomsday on December 21, 2012.”

Well, you can’t beat that! I mean it counts down Doomsday for you in real time! And, too, should you have need for it, the app is available in German and French as well as English. Although that made me wonder why it’s not available in Spanish and Mandarin Chinese, the two most spoken languages on the earth. Oh, well, by the time I figured that out Doomsday will have come and gone.

If it’s any incentive to rush out and get the app, it supports both portrait and landscape views whether users have “small, low density screens” or “large high-definition displays.”

“I am excited to release a mobile application with this kind of mass appeal” said Garret. "The whole idea is both serious and scary, and lighthearted fun. Like Y2K, only I think people are a little wiser these days and it's just something to have fun with."

And I will make some money!

EARLY, SAD SIGNS OF DOOMSDAY CRAZINESS

January 8

Walkerton, Indiana

Adam Mann, 23, Mann arrived at a railroad intersection on State Road 23 when the arms were down and a train was rumbling by. Stopping in the wrong lane, Mann leaped out of his car with a baseball bat and began screaming and swinging at people. He smashed the windows of his Honda Civic and then, when the train was gone, drove around the still lowered crossing arms and sped away.

A patrolman arrived to find the broken glass on the highway and several excited witnesses explain Mann’s strange behavior. The patrolman took up the pursuit with lights and siren and caught up with Mann just as the Honda Civic veered off the road, up an embankment and, without ever hitting the brakes, directly into the front window of a bank. The car ended up completely inside the building. Fortunately, it was Sunday and the bank was closed.

Man was hospitalized for a wrist injury and then turned over to police. He was booked on multiple charges.

Witness said Mann was screaming about the end of the world.

January 9

Maricopa County, Arizona

Drew Ryan Mara, 30, died in a shootout with Maricopa County sheriff’s deputies, but not before killing William Coleman, a 20-year veteran of the Sheriff’s Office.

Responding to a burglary report, a group of deputy sheriffs arrived at a medical office. Coleman approached a minivan in which Mara was sleeping. When the deputy tapped on the window with his flashlight, Maras shot him with a rifle. Another deputy returned fire, fatally wounding Maras.

A former Marine, Mara became convinced that the “world was racing toward an apocalypse foretold by ancient civilizations,” according to the Arizona Republic. Based on Mara’s own writings, he believed the government was covering up UFO activities and the pending end of the world, slated for December 21, 2012.

In 2010, Maras was interview by an Internet radio program in which he explained his end of the world beliefs:

“There is a very good reason why UFO and UFO activity has spiked in recent years. It’s because Mother Earth herself is in trouble. She is about to have a temper tantrum. Something has stirred the hive and that something is the once-every-25,800-year great galactic alignment set to commence on December 21, 2012, otherwise known as the end of time as we know it.”

MORE ARMAGEDDON HISTORY LESSONS

992

In 960 A.D., scholar Bernard of Thuringia created quite the hubbub throughout Europe when he announced, with all the confidence of a true prophet, that the world was coming to an end in 992 A.D., a mere 32 years hence. Unfortunately for poor Bernard, his end came prior to his pronounced end of the world and, lo and behold, the world kept chugging along.

1033

You may recall that previously I mentioned the fear and loathing that took place in 999 A.D. when everyone believed that Jesus would return in 1000 and *poof* End of Days! Well, when End of Days was not 1000, the prophets of doom decided that, “Oh, wait, we got that wrong. End of Days is really 1000 years after Jesus’s crucifixion, not His birth. Thus, 1033 A.D. became the new date for Doomsday. Well, add humiliation to embarrassment, that date, too, was a misfire.  

1537, 1544, 1801, 1814

More was going on in Dijon, France, than fancy mustard. Upon the death of astrologer Pierre Turrel, his prophesies for Doomsday was published. He was certain of his predictions, all four of them, but not so sure that he wanted them published in his lifetime. Telling his readers that he was strictly orthodox in his religious views, he offered 1537, 1544, 1801 and 1814 as potential dates for End of Days. Note that his timeframe was spread over 277 years and that, like a roulette player covering multiple numbers, he gave everyone something to worry about for the better part of three centuries. Needless to say, Pierre was wrong, wrong, wrong and wrong.

1648
It wasn’t just Christians predicting the end of the world, Rabbi Sabbati Zevi deciphered some passages from the Kabala and determined that the Jewish Messiah would appear in 1648. Well, 1648 came, but the Messiah did not. Nonetheless, Rabbi Zevi amassed a large flock of followers and in 1665 he announced to them that the Messiah would arrive in 1666 (I assume the 1666 had some resonance with the rabbi). The good citizens of Rabbi Zevi’s community threw down their plows and shovels and other implements and readied themselves for a pilgrimage to Jerusalem where they expected to witness the Messiah’s arrival along with a slew of miracles. Unfortunately Zevi was captured by the Sultan controlling Jerusalem and accused of plotting a coup. Meanwhile, with Armageddon in the offing, Zevi’s followers from across Europe prepared for the End of Days. Imprisoned in Constantinople, Zevi was undoubtedly confronted with choices. Regardless of what his followers now believed, Zevi found new life by converting to Islam. And, of course, 1666 came and went without the new Messiah appearing or the world ending.

13 13 13 13 13

Here’s a tidbit of information that certainly is keeping some End-of-the-World doomsters up into the wee hours of the morning: Besides being the last year of our existence, 2012 has three – that’s right, you can count ‘em – Fridays the 13^th. We just survived January 13^th, a Friday, and we can look forward to April’s Friday the 13^th and July’s Friday the 13^th.

And, before you let those goose bumps go down, the three 2012 Fridays the 13^th – are you ready for this? – are 13 weeks apart! Are you kidding me! Zowie! That’s just…well, apocalyptic.

A mathematics professor from the University of Delaware, Tom Fernsler says that ordinary years have two Fridays the 13^th. That the three Fridays the 13^th in 2012 are spaced 13 weeks apart is just apocalyptic gravy on our Armageddon meatloaf.

Looking ahead, 2015 – if there is going to be a 2015! – will have three Fridays the 13^th (February, March and November), but they will not have the eerie 13 week time span between them. Of course, since 2012 and 2015 have three each, 2014 and 2016 only get one each.

Looking back, 2009 had three Fridays the 13^th and looking even further down the road, 2026 and 2037 both have three. But here’s the really eerie part: in addition to 2015, 2009, 2026 and 2037 all have the February, March, November configuration. Only 2012 has the January, April, July pattern; 13, 13, 13, 13, 13.

And, of course, that means End of Days!

Not!

GONE CAMPING GONE

Last year, Harold Camping, the radio pulpit pounder, stirred his flock to action when he told them that Jesus was returning to end the world on May 21, 2011.

Unfortunately for the preacher, Jesus was apparently busy that day and couldn’t meet Camping’s schedule. Unfazed, Camping rescheduled the Second Coming and the subsequently end of the world for October 21.

Again, Jesus blew off the date and Preacher Camping slipped quietly into retirement, no doubt wondering why his Lord and Savior had seen fit to make him into a laughingstock.

That’s the problem with predicting the end of the world and trying to speak for deities. If mythology teaches us anything, it is that the gods are fickle. Many Christians get this when they pronounce that “the Lord moves in mysterious ways.” Of course, they also tend to blame everything bad on God, too. But, I’ve mentioned that previously.

This year is a watershed year for end-of-the-world hoo-ha and falderal and, most importantly, for enterprising organizations and individuals to rake in oodles of cash. If you think about it, it’s amazing how much money people will spend preparing to be vaporized/exploded/incinerated/drowned/boiled/schmushed, etc., etc. Which takes us back to Camping.

Arnie Bermudez, a columnist for the Tucson Citizen, points out that the 90-year-old Camping “…managed to swindle hundreds of people out of money donated to him because of his doomsday calculations that determined the end of the world was in May of 2011.” He also reminds us that after the revised October 21 date fell through, Camping admitted “in a private interview” that predicting the Rapture (aka the End of the World) is impossible. Yet, even though he admitted it, Camping didn’t return the money he filched from his true believers.

MORE SNIPPETS FROM EVERYWHERE II

Uncredited article in the Express Tribune (International Herald Tribune)
 
“Conspiracy theorists are having a field day blogging from their mothers’ basements and people are minting money building bunkers for, and selling gas masks to, the gullible (read: lunatic) fringe. We expect mass panic, widespread power outages, a complete collapse of law and order and total governmental paralysis. In short, an average Pakistani Tuesday.”

Mitchell Landsberg in the Los Angeles Times

“According to NASA astronomers, the Earth and sun are aligned with the center of the Milky Way every December, with no discernible trouble. NASA has also been quick to dismiss the other 2012 disaster scenarios, saying the planet Nibiru doesn't exist, and therefore cannot strike the Earth; that the north and south poles do, in fact, switch polarity every 400,000 years or so, but that this poses no particular danger and isn't expected any time soon; and that warnings of the effects of a solar storm are vastly exaggerated.”

Manjula Pooja Shroff in the Daily News & Analysis (India)

“I will admit that these are terrible thoughts to begin a New Year with. But think about it, if we all begin to live for the moment, as if there was no life after this year, maybe we will put our best foot forward and new realizations may dawn.”

John Wright, astronomer, Virginia Living Museum quoted in the Newport News Daily Press

"Yes, the Mayan calendar ends on that date," he says. "That's true for the exact same reason that our calendars end on December 31. It's the end of a cycle, and so you put up a new calendar and start again. That's what the current living Mayans say: 'When this calendar ends, that's when we start a new count, just like everyone else.' "

Kathryn Reese-Taylor, associate professor and graduate program director, Department of Archaeology, University of Calgary, writing in Ottawa Citizen.

“And this is what is so interesting about the 2012 prophecy. It is our culture that is captivated with apocalyptic predictions of all sorts, religious, political, economic, and environmental, and we invented this doomsday scenario, not the ancient Maya.”

Clayton Hardiman in the Muskegon Chronicle

“Given a choice between the end of the world and the threat of losing one’s home, doomsday starts to sound like a bargain.”

And finally, this:

Michael Cheang in the Malaysia Star

“So, can someone please confirm that the world will definitely end on Dec 21, 2012? Because if it will, then I’m quitting my job to hold that “Party To End All Parties” that the Mayans were planning. We may not be waking up at the end of that particular party, but hey, at least we’ll have some awesome fireworks to mark its end....”

BIG BUSINESS AT THE WORLD’S END

The Mexican government estimates that this year more than 52 million people will visit Maya country in the southern states of Tabasco, Quintana Roo, Yucatan and Chiapas, according to Mark Johanson writing in the International Business Times’ IB Traveler.

The Mexican tourism office issued a report in December saying they expect the tourists to drop about $19.5 million (270 million pesos) while visiting. Somehow that doesn’t seem like a very promising estimate. I mean, if 52 million visitors each spent a dollar, that would be $52 million and you’re not going to stay in some of the resort hotels in the Yucatan for less than $1 a night. Actually, while I double checked, I couldn’t find another number, but I believe it should be more like $19.5 BILLION. That would be around $365 per person, which makes a lot more sense.

"The Maya cosmology has sparked the interest of tourists and students of the matter worldwide, something that will be an important element of tourist promotion," the Mexican tourism office told Johanson.

In many areas in the four Mexican states that expect to be impacted by the influx of tourists, the flood of money will be welcome. Additionally, the interest in Maya culture, history and artifacts may help spawn increased tourism long beyond December 21, 2012.

A lot of people are flocking to Mexico this year. That’s good for Mexico, but is it good for tourists?

According to the Canadian Broadcasting Company (CBC), there were 18,601 narco-related murders in Mexico in 2011. 18,601! That’s astonishing. It translates to 51 murders a day, a marked increase from the 37 a day rate in 2010.

One hopes that Mexico is paying as much attention to the potential dangers facing tourists as they are to the potential windfall of tourist pesos.

NASA’S NEW FAQ

Here’s a sad truth: NASA, a government agency that has spawned literally thousands of cool products via its ongoing research to make space travel more viable and that has inspired millions of kids to reach for the stars as astronauts, astronomers, astrophysicists, astro-technologists, and so on, has had divert time and resources to create an FAQ (http://www.nasa.gov/topics/earth/features/2012.html) on its website deflating the 2012 End of the World nonsense.

For the true believer (ie, idiot/moron) science with all its gismos and gadgets and gobbledygook doublespeak can never convince them that the world ain’t comin’ to an end. True believers (ie, idiots/morons) want the world to come to an end so they don’t have to keep working at MacDonalds.

Still, NASA insists that no scientific evidence exists that the world will end in 2012 or any time soon for that matter.

NASA points out that the Maya calendar simply refers to the end of a cycle, not existence. Presumably, if you’re a true believe (idiot/moron) and you forget to hop over to Office Depot in mid-December and purchase a new calendar, when December 31 rolls around and you’ve got no January 1 on the next page, IT’S THE END OF THE FREAKIN’ WORLD!

Previously, I discussed the mysterious Planet X, aka Nibiru that allegedly passes near earth every 3600 years and causes all sorts of mayhem and is destined to crash into us this go-round. NASA debunks it thusly:

“Nibiru and other stories about wayward planets are an Internet hoax. There is no factual basis for these claims. If Nibiru or Planet X were real and headed for an encounter with the Earth in 2012, astronomers would have been tracking it for at least the past decade, and it would be visible by now to the naked eye. Obviously, it does not exist. Eris is real, but it is a dwarf planet similar to Pluto that will remain in the outer solar system; the closest it can come to Earth is about 4 billion miles."

And, then of course, there’s that pesky solar flare that I discussed a few weeks ago. Supposedly, a giant solar flare will jet out from the sun, travel 93 million miles and burn us to a briquette. Not going to happen. NASA points out that the sun, as big and powerful as it is, doesn’t have enough energy to send a solar flare 93 million miles through space.

It’s sad that during this time of budget cuts and economic woes that America’s space agency has to use valuable resources to address the hysterical concerns of the true believers (ie, idiots/morons) concerning the end of the world.

ROOTS OF THE MAYA CALENDAR HYSTERIA

The roots of the hysteria regarding the Maya calendar, December 21, 2012 and the end of the world go way back to those long-ago days of yore in the 70s. No, not the 1570s, or 1670s or 1770s, but the 1970s. That was when one Frank Waters published a book that Mexican historian Erik Velasquez, National Autonomous University of Mexico, terms a “mishmash of beliefs.”

According to Velasquez, cited in the Latin American Herald Tribune, Waters proclaimed that “Monument 6 in Tortuguero, in Tabasco, marked the supposed end of the Fifth Sun (which is a Mexican concept, not Maya) and the arrival of a new humanity, or Sixth Sun.” He added that the Mayas of the period (250-999 A.D.) “in no way ever thought that time was going to end in 2012.”

Sven Gronemeyer, an inscriptions expert from Australia’s La Trobe University, explained that Monument 6 in Tortuguero is no more than a reference to the end of a time cycle and the beginning of another. Similarly, I suppose, to when December 31 rolls around and we all ditch the old calendar for a new one and begin a new time cycle.

The actual Maya prophecies revolving around this coming December are of the return of a Maya god named Bolon Yokte, which actually sounds like a James Bond villain. His return, according to Gronemeyer, would simply mark the end of one time cycle and the beginning of another. Sort of Happy New Cycle!

And, just to be clear, Jesus Galindo, an astrophysicist at UNAM, pointed out that while the Maya were conscientious astronomers, they did not nor does contemporary science have “the ability to look at an ‘end of the world.”

All of this was discussed by Mexican scientists and their colleagues from around the world at the 7th Palenque Roundtable in the southern state of Chiapas sponsored by the Mexican National Anthropology and History Institute (INAH) in early December.

A report was issued by INAH that said, in part, that “an astrophysicist, a historian and two epigraphists shot down the myths about a supposed cataclysm or a ‘change of consciousness’ of humanity, which will presumably occur on Dec. 21 of the coming year.”

It’s always good to hear from the scientists. Of course the true believers won’t believe a word of it. “Phooey! What do they know?”

MORE SNIPPETS FROM EVERYWHERE

Mitch Chase in the Decatur Daily

“I’ve already used the end-of-world excuse once — to postpone a long-overdue colonoscopy until at least the spring of 2013.

“A colonoscopy involves the insertion of a television camera up your own, personal ‘end of the world,’ which the medicos use to survey your lower innards for signs of cancer.”

Jonathan Milke in the Saskatchewan Record

"There is talk of a galactic alignment, when the Earth, the sun and Sagittarius A* (the supermassive black hole at the centre of the galaxy) will be in alignment (somehow), causing massive gravitational chaos.

This alignment and two or three others are based on astrological theories about galactic planes, the winter solstice, planetary conjunctions or the galactic dark rift.

"Nevermind Sagittarius A* is about six million times too far to cause gravitational effects on our solar system, the alignment in question actually happened in 1998 and there is no planetary conjunction or solstice alignment this December."

William Axford in Fenton Tri County Times

“Given humanity's track record for predicting the end of the world, there's a good chance that the world will survive to see 2013. In 2011 alone, there were at least three predictions for the end of the world. One of them came from Harold Camping, who predicted the Rapture on May 21. Camping then revised the date to Oct. 21 after the world survived his first prediction. Some people also feared that Comet Elenin's passing between the Sun and the Earth would cause catastrophic storms. None of the predictions came true.”

Joanne Shuttleworth in the Guelph Mercury (that in Canada)

“Personally, I’d rather go into the new year not knowing what’s going to happen. I have some plans, some goals, some wishes and dreams and right now, with the year all shiny and new, they are all within possibility. I hope when 2013 rolls around my 2012 calendar will show that I had more good events than bad. I wish the same for you.”

Jim Kent in the Rapid City Journal

“The bottom line, of course, is that no one knows what will take place on 12/21/12 at 11:11 p.m. And since there aren’t any ancient Mayans around to tell us what they anticipated for that date, if anything at all, it’s as open to conjecture as seeing into the future always is. 

“As for me, I’m leaning toward the possibility that the next Winter Solstice may signal the beginning of a positive new age. Of course, that’s something I look forward to in my own life with each new year.”

And finally…

Aprill Brandon in the Victoria Advocate

“I mean, if this is my last year on earth, I'll be damned if I'm going to spend it getting organized, being nicer to people and finally losing those pesky extra five pounds (OK, fine! 10! Not that it matters. Just more for the apocalypse to love).

“For example, if the world is going to end, one of my resolutions is to stop paying my rent and then use the money to go on an exotic trip. By the time the landlord goes through all the proper channels to get me kicked out, we'll all be dust (as will my rental, actually, thus making rent moot). HOWEVER, if the world does not end, that means I am now homeless.

“Likewise, if the world is going to end, I fully intend on eating bacon and drinking Scotch for breakfast every morning. But if Dec. 22 does dawn, that means I'm probably destined to die a painful and disease-riddled death at age 37.”

GOD TOLD PAT ROBERTSON 2012 WILL SEE AMERICA “TORN APART”

Pat Robertson, the Christian conservative leader, told a recent television audience on the 700 Club that he asked God about 2012 and was told that our doomsday troubles will not be due to solar flares, earthquakes, volcanoes, Maya calendars or any of the other popular scenarios, but rather “total economic collapse” and, according to what God told Robertson, it’s President Barack Obama’s fault.

Well, of course it is. Evangelicals and conservatives along with many liberals who wanted Obama to be Batman to George W. Bush’s Joker, blame everything on Obama. I mean, let’s face it, if George W. Bush had made the call to take down Osama bin Laden, saved the American auto industry, stopped the country’s economic freefall, established the beginnings of a health care system that promises to serve virtually everyone, set in motion a system to protect American consumers from Wall Street predators and saved Iranian hostages even as Iranian leaders spewed hate and venom at America, he would be heralded as the Second Coming. But since it was Barack Obama, a black man, these same people can’t do enough to tear him down. ‘Cause, after all, that’s what Jesus would do, right?

But I digress. Robertson also said God told him who the next president will be, but “I'm not supposed to talk about that so I'll leave you in the dark -- probably just as well…”

Yeah, it probably is just as well. Who knows what name popped up in Pat’s fever dream?

Robertson has been pronouncing doomsday stuff for years and especially since gays and lesbians have demanded equal rights under the constitution. His hatred for homosexuals is only topped by his hatred for our first African-American president.

So, anyway, God told ol’ Pat:

“Your country will be torn apart by internal stress. A house divided cannot stand. Your president holds a radical view of the direction of your country which is at odds with the majority. Expect chaos and paralysis. Your president holds a view which is at the odds with the majority -- it's a radical view of the future of this country, and so that's why we're having this division. This is a spiritual battle which can only be won by overwhelming prayer. The future of the world is at stake because if America falls, there's no longer a strong champion of freedom and a champion of the oppressed of the world. There must be an urgent call to prayer.”

Here I discuss, skewer and mock the doomsday nonsense currently in vogue. However, within a religious context, I suppose if we are doomed, it’ll be God dooming us. Since so many religious people blame everything on God – why take any responsibility for what goes wrong in your life if you have God to blame? – it’s logical that gay marriage and a black president will anger Him enough to end the world….Not!

Wow, I got that off my chest!

A REAL MAYA DOOMSDAY

I try to keep my tongue in my cheek when I write about the end of the world. However, the contemporary Maya people in Belize are facing a real life end of the world situation as explained by the Belizean online newspaper:

“The Maya in Belize are the most oppressed and poorest of the poor of our indigenous groups. The current United Democratic Party government has authorized oil drilling and logging in lands sacred to the Maya in southern Belize. It has hired very expensive private lawyers to launch court battles attempting to negate ancestral Maya land rights. And in a gratuitous smack down of the Maya, one of their leaders who has been nominated by non-government organizations to represent their interests in the Senate as the 13th Senator, has been unable to take his seat in the Senate. Why? Because government has refused to formalize a law approved by the House Of Representatives and the Senate to give voice to the (Maya) community.”

Now that is real doom and gloom!

Meanwhile, the Belize Tourist Board is spending a $1 million a month to attract tourists to the End of the World. They are promoting camping at the Maya Pyramid to so you’ll be at ground zero to welcome Armageddon. Or, if you prefer, you can get married atop an ancient Maya ball court. Archaeologists will give tours and there will be celebrations and festivals galore.

And amid all the gaiety and frivolity, the Belizean Maya will watch their heritage despoiled by oilmen (I almost wrote “unscrupulous oilmen,” but then realized that was redundant) and politicians (again, I was going to write “corrupt politicians” and recalled that the phrase, too, is also redundant).

2012OLOGY AND DOOMSDAY GULLIBILITY

2012ology is the new term that the “global doomsday industry” has assigned to the current end of the world brouhaha, according to Matthew Restall and Amara Solari writing in The Washington Post.

Restall and Solari point out that in recent years, science and technology have “…profoundly transformed life on Earth. But science has not replaced religion. Instead, the two have developed a complicated relationship. Science is a religion; religion has become a science. Anxiety and skepticism abound.”

Still, believing that the Maya, an admittedly advance civilization within the context of their time and place, are still hardly the source that a modern, technologically advanced and scientifically vibrant society would select as the source for doomsday prophesy. I mean, they did, after all, commit human sacrifices. 

The common method for human sacrifice seems to have been for the "ah nacom" (a functionary) to extract the heart quickly, while four people associated with the rain/lightning god, held the struggling victim's limbs,” explains N.S. Gill in “Human Sacrifice Among the Maya.” 

Gill points out that extracting a beating heart wasn’t the only method. “Human sacrifices seem to have been made, as well, with arrows, by flaying, decapitation, hurling from a precipice, and throwing the victim into a limestone sinkhole.”

Charming. 

The Washington Post writers point out that the excavations and discoveries in Egypt a century ago spawned a lot of hoopla and that today, with many new discoveries revolving around the Maya culture, 2012ologists have turned to it for their contemporary doom and gloom. Yet, isn’t it odd that people will embrace a bit of ancient lore that was initially misquoted and yet reject the scientific evidence of global warming?

You want a doomsday scenario, figure out what happens when the ice caps melt. Yikes, adios, New York, so long, Los Angeles.

Of course, by pointing that out I may inadvertently add another layer to the doomsday machine and get the 2012ologists all atwitter.