As a Baby Boomer, I grew up believing Russians were horrible
people – probably lurking under my bed – who wanted me dead!
Well, earlier this month, Russian Defense Minister Anatoly Serdyukov (God, I love Russian names. I usually can’t pronounce them, but when I can they have such a delightful James-Bond-villain ring to them, but I digress…) announced that his country has plans to build an electromagnetic weapon.
If you think that Serdyukov was just tipsy on vodka, our old friend Vladimir Putin, Russia’s president (again), confirmed the story that Russian has been developing “mind-bending psychotronic guns that can effectively turn people into zombies."
A radiation gun that will create zombies! What will they think of next? Perhaps a serum to turn people into wolves? Or maybe a super-duper ray to reanimate dead flesh? How about an underwater blaster to turn fish into gill-men? (That’s a Creature from the Black Lagoon reference if you’re confused.)
So how does the Russian psychotronic gun work? According to the technology section of the International Business Times: “If you are unfortunate enough to be in front of the weapon it will attack your central nervous system. Based on previous research done on radiation guns, these low-frequency waves can affect brain cells, which could essentially lead to mind control.
“Radiation from the guns is similar to what can be found in microwave ovens. The weapon used for ‘achieving political and strategic goals,’ could very well be put into use by the end of the decade, reported the Daily Mail (OK, I don’t always trust the Daily Mail, it’s kind of like Fox News.).
Putin pointed out that the psychotronic gun is high technology comparable to nuclear weapons “but will be more acceptable in terms of political and military ideology."
Russia’s head of the Military Forecasting Centre pointed out that the radiation gun “is a highly serious weapon" and that it can damage internal organs, control behavior and may lead to suicide.
Can you say Zombie Apocalypse?
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