THE GOOFY SIDE OF ARMAGEDDON

Here are a few warm, fuzzy Doomsday tales.

KANSAS CITY STAR

A Kansas man who was preparing for the end of the world by making and storing grenades was sentenced this week to 21 months in federal prison.

Alfred C. Dutton, 65, of Eureka, Kan., pleaded guilty to one count of unlawful possession of unregistered destructive devices.

Government exhibits included grenade bodies, powder and fuses. Prosecutors said five incendiary bombs were found in a storage locker leased to Dutton in Eureka in southeastern Kansas.

Dutton’s defense said he was preparing for the collapse of the economy and collecting medical supplies, non-perishable foods and other items. The defense submitted to the court an excerpt from a National Geographic documentary on “Doomsday Preppers” to illustrate his state of mind.

PATCH.com

Novi, Michigan – What started off as a night drinking and talking with friends turned into a 22-year-old man being arrested on charges of stealing a car from a Novi dealership to survive the 'zombie apocalypse,' according to a police report.

In his statement, the man said he and his friends had begun drinking at a home at 10 p.m., then went to a bar to drink more. He said he and his friends talked all night about the TV show The Walking Dead and other zombie-type movies, the report said. The man was dropped off at home, the report said.

“My best guess is that I closed my eyes, woke up, and freaked out about the zombie apocalypse,” he said in his statement to police.

The man said he isn’t clear on how the rest of the night went. He told police that it is plausible that he broke into the dealership via the single service bay door and walked into showroom. He found a car in the showroom and drove it forward and through the double glass doors on the west side of building, the report said.

HUFFINGTON POST

After launching into a bizarre rant in which she claimed to be married to God, pregnant with his child, and predicted the pending apocalypse, a teacher at Veterans Memorial Academy in San Benito, Texas, has been removed, the Houston Press reports.

According to the paper's blog, the teacher claimed God's army would destroy the world on December 21, 2012, but that Jesus had another planet ready for them where everyone "was always 25 years old," and money doesn't exist.

“I am married to God, and I don’t know what’s going to happen to my husband that’s here (on earth),” she said, according to the San Benito News. “One of my eyes is mine and the other one belongs to God, so God is watching what you all are doing.”

According to the Monitor, district officials said the incident may have been the result of the teacher having an adverse reaction to medication.

Or…

Or perhaps, she was off her medication! Just sayin’!