MARRYING AT THE END OF DAYS!

Even for those of us who are romantically challenged, this is kinda cool.

Dallas suburbanites Janelle Franklin and Abel Garcia, Jr. were told during a Valentines Day press conference in Frisco, Texas, that the were winners of “the Grand Prize wedding and honeymoon package in a pretty extraordinary contest, the Maya Marriage of Many.”

Now this is no small deal. I image my wedding ran about $69.95; however, this Grand Prize wedding package – one of 12 – is valued at $16,030. The package includes an “exotic wedding ceremony and a honeymoon by Lara Goldman of Romantic Travel Belize in conjunction with luxury wedding planner Lisa Light of Light Destination Bride and celebrity photographer Terry Gruber” (and let’s hope Lara, Lisa and Terry are not going on the honeymoon with Janelle and Abel because that would be wrong and would only serve to feed the twisted fantasies of sickos and weirdos everywhere).

This magical marriage will take place in the Mayan Mountains of Belize on the steps of the 3200-year-old ancient Mayan Palace of Cahal Pech on 12/12/12.

Although Janelle and Abel are the Grand Prize winners, 11 other couples from around the world will be selected to participate, too.

“The 12.12.12 Event is being held in honor of the last remaining days of the 5126 year old Mayan calendar and the beliefs of many will be tested as time ticks down in 2012,” the press announcement reads. “On December 21, 2012, the world as we know it will end – or so it's thought by those who believe the culmination of the 5126 year old Mayan calendar signals the end of time. Of course, the Maya who still live in Belize, would beg to differ. Many of the Maya in Belize, the epicenter of the ancient Mayan world, reject popular doomsday scenarios and instead see the calendar's end as a joyous time of spiritual rebirth, renewal and new beginnings.”

Also according to the press release, "Janelle and Abel are an amazing couple and the perfect representatives of the Maya Marriage of Many. Janelle was born overseas, and they got engaged on the Eiffel Tower (they climbed it!), so their international flair is just perfect for this event. I could not have hand chosen a better couple to win this package. I look forward to spending the year with them," said Lara Goldman, owner of Romantic Travel Belize and contest organizer. "With the Big Reveal behind us and our cornerstone couple in place, now the attention shifts to the remaining 11 couples whose stories will be woven into the fabric of Mayan culture and tradition with this exclusive historical event."

Oh, that’s all so sappy I wantta puke!

And…and did you catch Lara’s quote: “I look forward to spending the year with them." Whole crap! I wonder if Janelle and Abel understand that Lara Goldman of Romantic Travel Belize is going to be with them for a year! A whole, freakin’ year! That’s just wrong! Although…