Thursday, February 2, 2012

STILL MORE TIDBITS FROM THE IDIOT FRINGE


Panicky Americans with way too much money are buying seats in bunkers for $50,000 dollars a pop. That’s $100,000 per couple. The bunkers are pedaled as asteroid-proof and nuclear bomb proof.

How the hell are they going to test that?

Holy crap! I’m in the wrong business. I should get some of my friends together, buy a piece of garbage land, build a big basement, drag in some seats, cots, a few propane-powered refrigerators, other assorted stuff along with some freeze-dried food and sell seats.

Do the math. You build this shelter for, oh, say, a hundred and fifty grand, gussy it up and then, undercut the market. Sell 20 seats at $35,000 a pop. World doesn’t end and you and your pals are $550,000 to the good. Plus you have a handy-dandy underground vault that any self-respecting drug dealer would happily take off your hands for, oh, say, $250,000.

Robert Vicino, a Californian entrepreneur is building “luxury” bunkers in secret locations and thus far, he’s sold about 5,000. His sales pitch? “What if the prophecies are true? Which side of the door do you want to be on?”

One of his clients proclaimed: “We’re not crazy people: these are fearful times. My family wants to survive. You have to be prepared.”

Another client said he wants to be a “future survivor” and that if worst comes to worst, he wants a place to take his family to be safe.

In the Pyrenees, the little village Bugarach, population 200, has about 20,000 visitors annually. Apparently, people come there to experience the “magnetic force” that supposedly surrounds the village. This mystical, magical magnetic force is powerful because the top layer of rock on the nearby mountain is older than the underlying rock.

Which is true! Geologists explain to all who will listen that when the mountain was first formed, it exploded – KA-BOOM! – and the mountain’s top sailed into the air and landed upside down.

Meanwhile, the French government is concerned about mass suicides at mystical, magical Bugarach. Of course, it doesn’t help that some True Believers (Idiots/Morons) believe that a) mystical, magical Bugarach’s magnetic force will spare them from the coming Doomsday or that b) mystical, magical Bugarach is a gateway to another dimension and harbors a secret alien base.

On the one hand, no one likes the idea of a mass suicide. On the other hand, it is one way to cleanse the gene pool of idiots and morons.

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